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Hi I have a very nearly 5 year old who is still having "accidents" - sometimes wee and lately poo. It is normally a case of "not getting there in time" or "not remembering" or "brain was turned off" - from reading your website it seems fairly common which is quite reassuring but how do we help him? I am very concerned about him getting to school and having issues/being teased. We too have tried treats, rewards, stickers, growls etc etc but to no avail... My first son didn't really use the toilet until 3.5yrs and my second son is now at this age and is also only just showing interest.... I will talk to his school before he starts but any other tips?? Thanks 



I would say that your son is probably just too busy to go to the toilet, which is typical of many children.  Kiddies get engrossed in activities and just don’t realise they need to go until it is urgent. 

You should get him checked to make sure he isn’t constipated – hard to pass dry bowel motions, sometimes mixed with runny loose motions.

A lot of children start school with some incontinence, but once they see that the “big kids” don’t wet or soil, they try to emulate them and learn to toilet appropriately.

Get him to follow a timetable for toileting  - sit on the toilet after breakfast and try to pass a bowel motion, and again after other meals if he doesn’t pass one then.   Go to the toilet for wee’s at playtime and lunchtime before going to play, and again after school, around evening meal time, and bedtime.  If he is needing to pass urine more than that, he may have an overactive bladder.

Get him to fill out a chart re what he has done, and get someone other than family to look at it. (ie teacher).  Children will generally be more accountable if they have to report to someone outside the family.

I wish you luck, but don’t despair, he will beat it.